Matt's Underwear
by Zadkiel Cary
Summary: I don't know how he does it... but in this set of stories Matt always manages to loose his pants. It's cute and kinda funny, just watch out for Mello's mouth.
1. Rescue the Sheep

Beware! This story has Mello's mouth in it, and there's some violence. But other than that, it'll be okay.

Disclaimer: there's no way I could ever own Death Note because all my favorite characters die, and further more, Mario belongs to Nintendo.

This is my first fanfic, hope you like it!

* * *

"Ah!" Mello shouted for the umpteenth time. "Why the hell does he always beat me!?"

The kids nearby who'd come to check their rank on the end of the month test quickly dispersed, not wanting to be within Mello's range of fire.

"Ah!" the blond shouted as he kicked a nearby chair (which landed a good ten feet away). I'm going to fucking kill him when I get my hands on him!"

He stomped off towards the play room, taking the shortcut past the bathrooms. But just as he was rounding the corner, he ran into Matt and causing both of them to fall over.

The red head was a bit shocked, but seeing as it was Mello who'd just caused his fall he decided to greet his friend. "Hey Mello, what's up?"

Mello just glared at him, making the boy realize that he was upset. Then he stood up, grabbed Matt by the front of his shirt and said, "Watch where you're walking, dumb-ass. I don't have time to deal with you right now."

The blond let go and continued to storm off angrily down the hall as though nothing had happened. The red head was puzzled briefly, but then remembered that today was the day when the test results came out and abruptly stood up and rushed after the blond. 'Please don't let him kill Near!' he thought with worry, remembering how Near had nearly been hospitalized last month.

"There you are, you fucking sheep!" Matt heard Mello shout from around the corner, and he quickened his pace, reaching the door just in time to see Mello kick Near in the stomach.

"Mello stop!" Matt shouted, tackling said blond to the ground before he could do any further damage.

"Not until I beat the fucking shit out of that damned sheep!" he shouted, struggling against Matt's firm grip, only managing to give himself a rug burn on his stomach.

Near sat up, wincing as his stomach muscles moved, they were definitely going to bruise. He looked at the two of them, observing as one might a television show. Matt, it seemed, was here to keep Mello from injuring him any further… by sitting on the other's back. While Mello made his intentions very clear, his emotions exhibiting his fury with great force.

"Get the fuck off me already, Matt!" Mello shouted, flailing his arms as he desperately tried to knock the red head off. Finally his hand came in contact with something, grabbed it and yanked on it with all the strength he had.

"Ah!" Matt shouted as his pants were abruptly pulled to his ankles. He stood up quickly in hopes of pulling them up before Mello had the chance to tease him, only managing to fall flat on his own face a few steps away.

Mello jumped up quickly as his chance to be free arose, turning towards Near who appeared to be looking at something else. Mello didn't really care what he was looking at, but seeing as his face was burgundy, he decided that it might be of use for teasing him later and looked.

Matt tilted his head up just in time to see Mello gasp before he broke into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

Matt was wearing boxer shorts that were black, covered in hearts, one leg on the back having a picture of Mario in a lab coat and the other read 'Love Doctor, Dr Mario' in large balloon letters. Near could understand perfectly well why Mello was laughing so hard and was slightly tempted himself, but he didn't think it was polite to laugh at someone else's misfortune, so he held back.

"Oh, fuck almighty," Mello shouted, leaning against the wall for support and trying to catch his breath. "That's the funniest thing I've seen in my fucking life!"

Matt let his head hit the ground with a thud and sighed. 'Man, he's never going to forget this. I'm doomed.' He groaned into the carpet loudly and began to push himself up off the floor, trying to ignore the fact that Near had a small smile on his face too. The red head pulled his pants up, grabbed his fallen game, pulled his goggles over his eyes and dragged his now mortified self out of the room silently.

Mello swiftly went off to follow Matt, only to return moments later with a final warning to Near. "You may hav gotten off easy tonight, but don't forget that I'm going to pound your ass into the fucking ground the next chance I get, sheep." With that, Mello left, obviously going off to find and ridicule his friend about tonight's events.

Near bent over and began to clean up his puzzle, knowing that Matt was traumatized, and that Mello would be going on about it for at least a month.

* * *

So… this is the beginning of my story, I hope you liked it! I'm hoping it'll become a long and good story, so wish me luck! (Because I know it's terrible.) But you should review it anyway, and maybe give me a few tips on how to write. Please and Thank you ^w^'


	2. Make Up, Fall Down

Watch Out! Mello's mouth is here again, and if you don't know what to expect from it I suggest you leave now.

Disclaimer: There is no possible way that I could ever own DN because all of my favorite characters die, and furthermore, I'd have to live in the 12th dimension to own Mario, and I don't.

This is the second chapter of MU; it's a bit longer than the last one so I hope you'll be happy. And a special thanks to Pika-chan (PrincessPika) for giving me my first review!

Onward!

* * *

Mello ran through the halls, searching for Matt. He hadn't seen the red head since yesterday when he ran off to go hide from the blond after he'd dropped- after Mello had accidentally pulled Matt's pants down.

When he didn't even shown up in their shared room to go to bed last night, Mello had gotten seriously worried.

'Matt, you dumb-ass,' he thought to himself as he checked the kitchen cabinets. 'Where the hell are you!?'

Matt sighed as he checked his watch again; it was 4:52 am.

His video game had died about an hour ago and he was just barely able to keep his eyes open; and as if that weren't enough Mello and Near had seen his 'Love Doctor, Dr Mario' boxers.

He sighed again, finally deciding that he should go back up to the room he shared with Mello and go to bed. The gamer stood up, brushed the dust off of his clothes and opened the closet door, stepping out into the empty hallway.

Mello's keen ears picked up the sound of a door shutting off to his left, and his head flew up from inside the pantry.

'It could be Matt!' the blond thought eagerly, though his better judgment told him that that wasn't very likely. None the less, he quickly turned and ran as fast as he could toward the sound.

Matt suddenly heard the sound of approaching footsteps, and turned to look behind him, only to be greeted by the vacant hallway. Maybe he was just hearing things because he'd been up so long.

He turned again to resume his original course, and before he was even able to take another step forward he saw Mello, running towards him from the end of the hall.

"Matty!" the blond shouted, simply overjoyed that he'd found his friend. Mello gave him a large hug, not even having slowed his pace, and sending them both crashing to the floor.

To say that Matt was shocked would have been a ridiculous understatement. He had fallen to the floor, embraced in a deep hug by his best friend, who wasn't even attempting to be angry with him, which, in and of itself was way off.

"W-what?" the red head managed to stutter as he stared up at Mello confusedly, knocking the blond out of his happy-go-lucky state and back into his usual hot headed self.

"Where the hell have you been!?" he whisper/yelled, sitting up on Matt's stomach. "I've been looking for you all fucking night! I haven't even gone to fucking bed yet!"

"I was just on my way upstairs when you…" Matt began, stopping when he noticed Mello giving him a death glare.

"Don't you ever fucking do that again or I rip your fucking balls off." The blond said through barred teeth, trying to keep himself from beating the shit out of Matt for scaring him like that.

The gamer nodded vigorously, a shiver running down his spine at the prospect. But he knew that a threat to his manhood was just Mello's way of showing that he cared. The blond smirked as he climbed off of his friend, helping him up too.

Once they were both standing Mello reached into his pocket, pulling out two AA batteries and handing them to Matt, kind of like a peace offering. The red head smiled brightly and accepted the gift, pulling out his system and quickly inserting the two black cylinders. The screen turned on silently, illuminating the Matt's face as his smile widened, and they began the slow ascent to their room.

The sun was jus beginning to show its rays across the horizon, and the only sounds that could be heard at Whammy's were two sets of footsteps and vigorous button pushing on Matt's DS. But peace can only last so long, and that is a rule that can never be broken.

"Hey, Mello," Matt asked, stopping and preparing to shut off his game. "Can we stop by the bathrooms really quick?"

Mello stopped as well, and shrugged. "I guess." And Matt jogged past him quickly, creating a slight breeze. "Well," the blond muttered as he resumed walking. "Somebody's got to go."

By the time the blond reached the bathroom Matt was just sipping up his fly and heading towards the sink. Mello waited patiently as Matt washed and dried his hands, and when the gamer looked back over at him, he pretended to be asleep.

"I know your faking it, Mello. Now let's get upstairs before Roger tries to wake up our pillows." Matt said, smiling as he walked up to the now laughing Mello.

As they made their way up the second flight of stairs, (Matt now refocused on his videogame to the point where he was playing it while walking) Mello suddenly stopped, causing Matt to run into him, a "Whoa!" escaping his lips as the forces of nature took control.

Now since they were on a flight of stairs, the force of the bump caused Matt to lean back on his heels while gravity decided to send him tumbling down them; and, since his pants were a size too big, they fell farther down with each stair he passed.

Near awoke with a start as he heard a loud thump against his bedroom wall. He sat up slowly and cautiously began to climb out of his bed, stopping again when he heard laughter.

He pulled on some fresh socks and opened his bedroom door, only to see Matt face down with his legs and stomach pressed awkwardly against the wall, the toes of his shoes above his shoulders (think shrimp curl, but backwards). Not to mention that his pants had ended up around his ankles, revealing his 'Love Doctor, Dr Mario' boxers once more.

"Holy shit, Matt; you look like a fucking shrimp!" Mello was roaring with laughter, holding on to the stair rail for support as he panted out his insults. "A fucking… pants less… Mario-loving… shrimp!"

'And here I was thinking that things were gong to get better.' Matt thought to himself, then looking up and noticing Near staring at him and blushing slightly.

"W-would Matt like some help getting up?" Near began nervously. "It is probably unhealthy for his body to be in that position for too long… and his legs might get cold."

All Matt could do at that point was groan into the tile about how terrible things were going for him. As if it wasn't bad enough that the two other boys had seen his boxers the night before, they were seeing them again and now Near was starting to pity him.

His thoughts then drifted to a new topic, and possible solution to his problem.

'I need a belt.' He thought, now hopeful. 'and as soon as I get the chance, I'm going to go out and buy one… or two.'

Yay for the second chapter! Hope you liked, and please R & R!


	3. Solution Execution

HEY! Mello's mouth! Duck in cover!

Disclaimer: there's no way I could ever own Death Note because all my favorite characters die, and further more, Sonic belongs to Sega.

Yay for the third chapter of MU! Hope you enjoy!

Matt limped towards the room he and Mello shared; he hurt all over. He had officially concluded that there was someone somewhere that had it out for him (not that he hadn't considered the possibility before, but now he was sure.) Just another good reason not to get involved in religion.

He finally reached his destination, pausing in the door frame to wince, sighing heavily. He could hear Mello's laughter echoing down the hall as he opened the door.

'He's seriously still laughing?' Matt thought, both angry and exhausted. The redhead locked the door behind him, knowing that his room mate would be furious, but simply too tired to care, and he groaned.

Mello reached the door only moments later, trying to calm himself down. Once successful, he went to open the door, but it wouldn't budge.

'Shit! He locked me out!' The blonde thought angrily.

"Le'me in, Matt!" Mello shouted, banging on the door, thinking how hard he was going to punch Matt for this.

"Go away…" Matt mumbled, pulling a pillow over his head in a feeble attempt to block out the noise.

"No!" Mello said, seething as he stopped his bombardment upon the door to better hear his friend. "Now open up, damn it!"

"You're giving me a headache." The redhead whined.

"I don't fucking care!" Mello shouted, raising his arms above his head. "It's my fucking room!"

"It was my room first…" Matt grumbled. "And I want to get some sleep."

"Ooh…" Mello growled, his hair whipping the sides of his face as he shook his head in annoyance. "Just get off your lazy ass and open the damned door!"

"Why should I?" Matt asked, sitting up. "You'll only punch me if I do."

"Because I fucking said so, damn it!" Mello shouted.

"That's not a very good reason to me." The redhead grumbled, annoyed.

"Then…" Mello began, pausing to think up a reasonable excuse through his anger. "Because I need to change and I want my damned chocolate!"

Matt got off his bed reluctantly, already having decided not to let Mello in until an adult told him otherwise. He went over to Mello's side of the room grabbed a random outfit from his dresser, making sure to grab a pair of boxers, socks, and three chocolate bars for his friend. He then unlocked the door and opened it quickly, throwing his armful of gatherings into the blonde's aggravated face before he even had the chance to blink.

He recoiled and re-secured the wooden boundary between them, and his giggle grew to a full out laugh as the blonde let out a string of unintelligible profanity and sacrilege to him from the other side of the door.

After a few minutes of this, however, even Mello didn't know what he was saying, or if half the words he was using were existent. All he did know was that he wouldn't stop until he had cursed, condemned, dissed and otherwise cussed out everything that was in any way related to the redhead using every word in his vocabulary, and some that weren't.

Matt, roaring with laughter, took note of everything the blonde said, planning to use it to tease his friend once he'd regained his senses, and although he would probably get a few new bruises from it, it would, undoubtedly, be worth it.

Soon, though, Mello found himself slowing down, his voice dropping its inflection and speed, and before either of them knew it… Mello passed out.

The gamer calmed down, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye as he heard a loud, if slightly muffled thump, from the other side of the door. He stood up cautiously and put his ear against the door, but heard nothing; so he opened it up and saw Mello, passed out on the floor in the middle of the hallway about a foot away from their door. This started a whole new fit of laughter as he carried his friend's slack body into their room and placed him on his own bed; the rest of the blonde's belongings following shortly thereafter.

Matt, after having come to his own senses, remembered that he was, in reality, still beltless; a truth that had, in fact, been the beginning of this whole shenanigan. So, in light of his remembrance of this one unfortunate truth that had been the cause for his sequence of ill-fated occurrences ©, he changed, grabbed his wallet, and left, tugging on his vest as he shut the door soundlessly behind him.

After all, this may have been his last chance to salvage what little pride he had left and retain his slim waist for a long, long time.

Near finished off his small bowl of oatmeal and set his bowl and spoon in the kitchen sink, now ready to check in on Matt to see if he was still opposed to visiting the nurse or if he'd made it back to his room alright.

He scaled the three flights of stairs between the cafeteria and the floor Matt (and regretfully, Mello) resided on and, without knocking; he opened the door wide enough to see Matt's bed. Surprisingly, though, his bed was empty, but looking to the other bed, he found Mello, half the boy's limbs off the side of the bed, snoring peacefully, (if something so loud can be called peaceful) just as he should be. But if Mello was here… then where was Matt?

As a matter of fact, Matt was currently heading towards the mall, cruising down the street as if he owned the place. The clouds in the sky were growing in strength and numbers quickly as he neared his destination, but he was focused on his mission to really care about them. All he really had on his mind was remembering where the clothing store was from the entrance he was headed towards.

Something in the back of his mind was telling him to just buy a new pair of jeans, but jeans coasted more and he was presently having a growth spurt which, if he was right, would make him just the right height to fit into another, larger version of the jeans he was currently wearing, though not quite big enough to fit into the next size up from that.

As he entered the mall, Matt skidded to a halt. He'd forgotten just how big it really was.

"Whoa…" Matt said under his breath, though he quickly tried to shake off his wonderment so he could continue his quest, and from there, he was off.

'Okay…' Matt thought as he walked down the long path. 'First stop is the clothing store.' After a few minutes of aimless wandering, though, he found such a simple task was not as easily accomplished, as it seemed. Currently, he found himself in the food court.

Subsequent to approximately twenty-three and a half minutes more of aimless wandering that involved many U-turns, various stopping points and one very unhelpful store clerk; our young protagonist found himself at the door to the clothing store which he had spent just over an hour looking for since he'd left the grounds of his home (if one could really call it that; it was really more of a temporary living place).

"Finally!" he said triumphantly, (if not with a little exasperation) as he stood just outside the doors. He would have his belt yet!

Eagerly, (perhaps too much so than was socially acceptable for a boy his age) Matt stepped into the store, heading straight to check out counter to ask where the belts were kept.

"Back left-hand corner of the store, kid." replied the teen from behind her magazine, not even bothering to look at Matt who thanked her just as gratefully as if she had regardless.

The redhead raced to the back corner of the store, as though he were going through an obstacle course, or perhaps a relay. He stopped upon the first rack of belts that he saw, grabbing whichever belt his hand landed on and fastened it around his waist. Priority one: find the right size.

Surprisingly enough, it did fit. 'Yes! Right on the first try! Beat that!' Matt thought, gloating inwardly at his success. He undid the belt and brought it up to eye level. Priority two: find a belt that looks good and fits.

Matt sifted through the rack, stopping every time he found one in his size to see if it was worthwhile. In the end, though, he bought two belts, and practically skipped out of the mall, back to Whammy's.

The belts he'd bought were both leather, so if worse came to worse he could share them with Mello. He chuckled at the thought of Mello needing a belt. 'Ha! Why would Mello even need a belt? He always wears that tight leather. How does he even fit in that stuff? My goggles have a bigger circumference than his pants do!' the redhead thought, teasing his friend in good humor the way only the best of friends can.

Suddenly though, something hit him.

Back at Whammy's, Near had been looking out the window for the past hour and a half, patiently awaiting the return of his companion, when it started to rain. He, although appearing emotionless to most, was in fact very concerned for Matt; who was most likely outside being rained on or watching the rain helplessly from somewhere indoors, wondering how he was going to get back.

Near was no meteorologist, but it didn't take a genius to know this rain wouldn't be letting up for until dinner, if they were lucky, which was, more often than not, the exact opposite of what they were. One could only hope for the best when the weather was like this, where the size of the cloud could mean anything between morning showers to city floods.

The rain fell down like a sheet, limiting visibility, soaking anything everything caught in it from dirt to steel. Matt was currently seeking shelter from the latter, but even steel couldn't protect him from the rain's wrath.

On the walk back, he'd gotten about three fourths of the way there before the rain hit, and he hadn't been out in it for thirty seconds before he was soaked to the bone. Shivering under a bus stop waiting area, he watched as the rain continued to pour down from the sky like an endless waterfall; as though he were in a submarine looking out upon the vast expanse of the ocean that never seemed to end because the water was too thick to see far.

But loss of visibility was not on his list of things to worry about. Right then, his two main concerns were getting back to the House, and sneaking in, unnoticed. He knew exactly where he was and how to get back, but the rain would definitely compromise his plans.

He needed to sneak back inside because he wasn't supposed to be out in the first place and being caught by someone was not his objective. So naturally, being soaked, possibly muddy and having to virtually crawl in and get a shower before he came down with hypothermia was definitely not the way to achieve the sneaking he hoped to accomplish in any way, shape or form.

Though it wasn't like he had much of a choice at that point. He had to get back, and it didn't look like the rain would be letting up any time soon, so, unfortunately, he wouldn't be able to wade it out; which was an ironically accurate statement considering the size of the growing puddles all around him.

'Shoot.' the redhead thought, not so much annoyed as he was exhausted. 'Why today, of all the days it could have rained? Why now, of all the times in the world? Why; why me, of all the people in the entire galaxy? Why did it have to rain today, right now, when I'm outside trying to save myself from eternal humiliation in a perfectly innocent and harmless way?' He sighed and pushed his hair away from his goggle lenses, almost too tired now to wallow in self-pity.

'Wait,' he thought to himself, snapping his eyes open as he realized what he was doing. 'What on earth am I doing? I should be out there, on my way, not in here shooting myself in the foot! Geez! No wonder Near feels sorry for me; I'm a moron! Enough of this crap! I'm going back to the house!' Matt straightened his posture to a more confidant stance, encouraged by his inner monologue pep talk, and proudly marched out of his shelter.

Now, to any bystander, one might've thought the boy had completely gone mad. After all, no sane person marches up a hill, in the pouring rain like they were a soldier of the royal guard, wearing orange goggles, merrily swinging a shopping bag whilst smiling like they'd just been dubbed king. Not to even mention the fact that the person happened to be a teenage boy, who are rarely ever seen with any such air of innocence or smiling like a loon. And, if one looked just above his head, they would see a faint rainbow as the clouds parted just enough to let a little sunshine through.

Matt, though very out of shape, somehow managed to trek, not only the four blocks to Whammy's gate, but the quarter mile drive to the front doors as well. Though, as if on cue, his ever trustworthy gut told him something wasn't quite right, which he took no hesitation in believing, because even after the long march, he couldn't feel a thing any lower than that.

Near went upstairs and woke Mello the moment he saw Matt begin his accent of the driveway, poking the blonde's forehead until he awoke; an action for which he was rewarded with a sharp open palm to the stomach.

"Damn it, Matt, its Saturday. Leave me alone and let me sleep." Mello yawned into his pillow, totally unaware.

"I realize it is a weekend day, Mello, but I am not Matt and I have some important news of him to bring to you." Near replied, and Mello, now fully awake and alert, nearly jumped out of his bed upon seeing him.

"Shit, Near! Why the hell are you in my room?" Mello asked, completely bewildered. "And where the fuck is Matt?"

"Well, he is currently on his way up the driveway." Near said calmly, "And if we hurry we will be able to keep his trip secret."

"Driveway? Trip?" Mello asked, cocking his head to the side.

"Matt snuck out after Mello fell asleep and has apparently been outside in the pouring rain."

"He what?" Mello shouted, jumping out of bed and running out of the room without a second thought, leaving Near in the dust, as it were.

Near sighed and began backtracking his steps to the front door, it was truly amazing how quickly Mello changed from one thing to another, a phenomenon that he would have to study more extensively at a later date.

Mello, fast as he was, still didn't make it to the door first.

"Damn it, Near!" Mello said, stomping his foot in anger.

"Mello, when I said we should hurry I didn't mean for you to plow down everyone within a three mile radius." Near sighed, twirling a lock of hair around his finger. "Honestly, every time you and I attempt to accomplish the same task we wind up in a game of tortoise and hare."

"Shut your fucking mouth you midget albino." Mello said in an overly dramatic way.

"Mello should let Matt inside now, he's at the door."

Mello opened the door quickly, revealing a soaked to the bone Matt, smiling at his friends on the inside. "Why the hell do you smell like a wet dog?"

"You really know how to make a guy feel at home, Mello." Matt said, still smiling at the both of them. "But would somebody please explain to me why I can't feel my legs?"

"It appears that Matt is coming down with hypothermia." Near said to Mello.

"Like hell he is. Just look at 'em! He's just cold!" Mello scoffed, gesturing to Matt. "The kid's as healthy as a horse!"

"Mello fails to realize that if Matt stays in those clothes any longer he will become ill, regardless of his current health." Near stated quietly. "And if anything, Matt continuing to stand outside in the rain will do nothing to improve his situation."

"You're both right!" Matt nearly shouted, causing the two to turn and face him, signs of confusion crossing their faces. "I am just cold, but this is not a good time for me to get sick, so will one or both of you please get the heck outta my way so I can come inside?"

Both boys sidestepped to let him pass through the doors, his eyes warning them not to contradict him. Although, despite the fact that he had settled the two's qualms quite effectively, he had almost, quite literally lost contact with his legs. As such, you cannot give a command to something unresponsive and expect it to fulfill your wishes to your specifications. In short, when he told his legs: move in a forward direction so as to allow me entry to the House, they heard something along the lines of: I don't think I'm wet enough to enter, yet; please collapse upon yourselves and throw me in the direction of the nearest puddle.

"A-hh!" Matt cried out as his misheard message knocked him into a very cold, very wet, very deep, and VERY unpleasant puddle.

"Matt!" Mello shouted, both angry and surprised as his friend toppled over into a puddle.

Matt, in response, frowned at nothing in particular, before hefting himself up again. But as it turned out, bad luck was almost always on his side, so why, after the gamer had already had such a fine day, would ill-fate let him get away without humiliation?

Well, it didn't, because the minute he'd righted himself… his pants fell down to his ankles, the waistband not strong enough to hold up under the added weight of his water soaked jeans. This time, revealing some lovely, red and white checkered boxers covered in various Sonics.

"Ah ha ha!" Mello blurted, not two seconds after his friend's pants had fallen.

"Oh, for the love of-!" Matt shouted at the sky before bending down and roughly yanking his pants up.

Near, being a bit more refined than either of them, blushed and quickly stepped aside to let the seething redhead inside, doing his best to resist the urge to laugh, or even smile as Matt stomped in past him.

"W-Wait, Matt!" Mello shouted, barely stifling his laughter as he stood up and chased after his friend. "Hey, I said wait up, damn it!" The blonde leapt up the stairs after the gamer.

And when all was said and done, the albino quietly shut the door and began the long walk back to his room, wondering just what the redhead had been up to all day.

Sorry it took me so long to update, and that this chapter was so long, but don't hold that against me! R&R please and thank you!


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